The Up Down Down Down UP Phase

:The Phases and Faces of Hypomania Hypomania isn't always fun and games. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are super happy over nothing for too long. Sometimes it can become dysphoric. Hypomania is like being revved up on overdrive, therefore if something upsetting happens it can turn to rage extremely quickly. In a flick of … Continue reading The Up Down Down Down UP Phase

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The Definitive Phase

:The Phases and Faces of Hypomania Some people will be quite forward with me, "you're doing my head in. Go away." My partner, and nurses on a ward mainly who refuse to talk to me unless I stop pacing around them in circles as fast as my feet will carry me. Other people try to … Continue reading The Definitive Phase

New Year, The Same Old Me: Hello 2017! 

Once again I am planning ahead for the new year in my mind as if, overnight, my life is going to miraculously change for the better and I'm going to evolve like a Pokémon into this perfect, wonderfully healthy person that I've dreamt of being, since I stopped dreaming of being the sickliest emaciated queen … Continue reading New Year, The Same Old Me: Hello 2017! 

Coming Out of Hospital After 4 Weeks In

From the end of April to late May I spent 4 weeks in a psychiatric hospital, hence my absence. It was a difficult admission and still now I am struggling to quite get my head around what happened, what's happening, and what I went through. I am also struggling to get back to every day … Continue reading Coming Out of Hospital After 4 Weeks In

Melancholy

I'm really struggling at the moment. It's hard to pinpoint with what exactly though. I'm really unmotivated to do anything, and I keep sleeping for a really long time. I'm massively relying on my comfort items at the moment - I am sat with Big Bear as I type. I think something, although I'm unsure … Continue reading Melancholy

Abandonment

So we broke up. This has triggered all sorts of abandonment schemas and behaviours. I've self harmed and have been on and off suicidal. This is evidently BPD and not Bipolar reaction as I'm otherwise stable with my bipolar now. I also spoke about something that concerns me from childhood that is very difficult to … Continue reading Abandonment