A Crisis, A Sandwich and The Small Wins

I just ate a sandwich and I am drinking a cup of tea. I am in a public place and although I'm not talking to anyone around me, I just ate a sandwich. I don't have an eating disorder anymore. I don't have a digestive disorder. There is nothing physically stopping me from eating, but … Continue reading A Crisis, A Sandwich and The Small Wins

Overwhelmed By Very Little 

    I have started a course. The course, from the first session, gives me hope that it will be a good focus for me for the next 8 weeks and beyond. It is in Reading to Lead, in which case you run groups of reading for well being and exploring themes and emotions brought up … Continue reading Overwhelmed By Very Little 

My Lost Ally

For some of us, it can be a scary fact to accept that sometimes you have no idea what is really going on with your mental health. For me, right now this is the situation I find myself in. I am sectioned, and a bit confused as to why, and as to what is going … Continue reading My Lost Ally

Anorexia – Relapse and Prevention: Small Clothes and Tears

Relapse Symptom: Becoming upset about not fitting into my small clothes. An unavoidable aspect recovery from anorexia is weight gain. Weight gain doesn't just mean a number on the scale, as it feels like when you're losing weight, but it also corresponds to an actual increase in mass and size. When losing weight during anorexia, it … Continue reading Anorexia – Relapse and Prevention: Small Clothes and Tears

Anorexia – Relapse and Prevention: The Thin Ideal and Self Hate

Relapse Symptom: Seeing very thin people and feeling jealous of their figure, hating on my own and wishing I had never gained weight so I could remain a skinny minnie all my life, and thus be apparently beautiful for all eternity. Seeing old photographs of myself at lower weights, or of other people at unhealthy low … Continue reading Anorexia – Relapse and Prevention: The Thin Ideal and Self Hate

Life of the Living Dead

Sat, slumped against the wall, I have bad posture but I don't care much for my posture right now. I'm sat in silence, and have been for hours; I don't care much for music, or talking right now. Space occupies my every hazy thought, wisp of a thought and thought of a thought; I don't … Continue reading Life of the Living Dead