I Have a Big Mind, So I Can Keep Dreaming

I have a very big mind. I don't know if you can quantify the size of a mind seeing as it is abstract. What I mean when I say I have a big mind is that it wanders. I have high ambitions for myself, and sometimes believe in them. I think I'm going to become … Continue reading I Have a Big Mind, So I Can Keep Dreaming

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The Panic Proliferation Situation

When anxiety gets a grip on you it becomes very difficult to reason with the impending doom that feels like you have no choice to think about and feel in response to it. Lately I have been experiencing perhaps one of the worst bouts of anxiety I have had in a very long time. So … Continue reading The Panic Proliferation Situation

A Crisis, A Sandwich and The Small Wins

I just ate a sandwich and I am drinking a cup of tea. I am in a public place and although I'm not talking to anyone around me, I just ate a sandwich. I don't have an eating disorder anymore. I don't have a digestive disorder. There is nothing physically stopping me from eating, but … Continue reading A Crisis, A Sandwich and The Small Wins

Coming Out of Hospital After 4 Weeks In

From the end of April to late May I spent 4 weeks in a psychiatric hospital, hence my absence. It was a difficult admission and still now I am struggling to quite get my head around what happened, what's happening, and what I went through. I am also struggling to get back to every day … Continue reading Coming Out of Hospital After 4 Weeks In

What Happens When You Don’t Get Along With Your Therapist?

We don't get along with everyone in life. Unfortunately, there are just some people who rub us up the wrong way, infuriate us with their breathing habits or perhaps it's just the mere fact that they exist. These are just some of the challenges we have to cross in our life times, and navigating people … Continue reading What Happens When You Don’t Get Along With Your Therapist?

Abandonment

So we broke up. This has triggered all sorts of abandonment schemas and behaviours. I've self harmed and have been on and off suicidal. This is evidently BPD and not Bipolar reaction as I'm otherwise stable with my bipolar now. I also spoke about something that concerns me from childhood that is very difficult to … Continue reading Abandonment

My Relationship With My Mood

As you can probably guess, having borderline personality disorder and bipolar together, my relationship with my mood is somewhat of a complex one. I feel like I'm back to normal again now, which in it's own way brings a little disappointment when you crash down to normal from hypomania because, let's face it, a brief … Continue reading My Relationship With My Mood