:The Phases and Faces of Hypomania
What does someone do who has all of these amazing ideas crashing into one another in their mind? They’re too good to keep quiet, too many to not share and too exciting to not act upon. They talk. I talk, shit mainly.
I have a story for everything we may see; a funny looking tree, let me tell you about all my hilarious escapades climbing trees as a child and then as an adult; an absolute banger of an old car, let me tell you all of my shit car anecdotes of which there are many because I’ve only ever had shit cars; a road sign to no-where, let me tell you a story about that too. If it’s not about me, which all the best stories are, I’ll tell you about a story of someone I know, or know of, or who knows someone who knows someone I know vaguely from social media. Even if I don’t actually have an anecdote or real story, I’ll just make one up.
In fact, scrap the ‘let me tell you’ – even if you don’t let me I’m going to tell you anyway. Like an enforced torture of verbal vomit that relates to nothing you’re interested in, additionally I’ll ignore all of your requests for me to shut up – it will feel physically impossible for me.
If I let you talk during all of this because you know, conversation etiquette and all, you’d better be thinking and speaking at light speed too otherwise frustration boils up inside me like the heated gas in balloon expanding until it bursts. I am a balloon above a radiator.
I try to stifle myself but it requires an incredible amount of discipline. Sometimes I manage, sometimes i don’t. You’ll know if i don’t because all that frustration I’m feeling in keeping quiet or waiting my turn or waiting for your slow brain to process and just spit it out already, you’ll likely feel for precisely that: me not shutting up. Likely, i won’t give a fuck. As long as I’m relieving my tension and urges then the world remains glorious as I spout the more important three-quarters of our conversation.
If you decide to go home and leave me to it that’s fine too. I’ll just talk to myself. At least then I can keep up and I don’t need to take turns. I’ll crack jokes, laugh out loud and generally encourage myself in all of my shining glory to keep on shining dear friend, just keep on shining.