What Happens When You Don’t Get Along With Your Therapist?

We don’t get along with everyone in life. Unfortunately, there are just some people who rub us up the wrong way, infuriate us with their breathing habits or perhaps it’s just the mere fact that they exist. These are just some of the challenges we have to cross in our life times, and navigating people seems to be a pretty big challenge for some, especially those like myself who have a multitude of MH problems, some of which include getting along or rather not getting along with people as a symptom.

P.S. I’m not a massive asshole by the way, I just struggle with interactions sometimes.

What makes it worse is when we have to trust this person, and they are supposed to be an important person in your life that helps you, i.e. they’ve been appointed by the NHS as your therapist. Then, it’s even more challenging and difficult to get along when quite frankly, you don’t. So here’s how I responded to not getting along with my therapist and what I perhaps could have done better:

I argued with her.
I hold on the the notion that I had a valid point in each circumstance. Sometimes it can help to argue with your therapist if you don’t agree with their analysis of you, or what they’re saying about you. In fact most therapists are open to being corrected should they get something wrong – my problem with arguing with this particular therapist is that she doesn’t take well to being corrected just like I don’t take well to being analysed incorrectly and having said analysis affect my care.

I cried about it. 
Only slightly as I managed to hold it together more than in the past which suggests progress but I let it go and shed a tear here and there. Sometimes it is healthy to shed tears and cry a little bit. Apparently it releases hormones that make you feel good and a good sense of relief so that I wouldn’t change. In fact, if I could cry more and shorten the grieving process then I would.

I considered suicide over it. 
Now this is an over reaction. I’m glad I didn’t act on it but instead I spoke about it briefly with people because what she was saying made me think “what’s the point?” and “There’s no use trying anymore”. This I would change but I’m thankful I managed to not act.

I spoke about it.
In fact I’ll correct this, I bitched and I bitched and I bitched some more to anyone who would listen to and entertain my pain. I needed to talk about it as I needed to vent, but I would change just how much I needed to talk about it and to how many people because let’s face it, bitching isn’t the most healthy or positive of behaviours for other people to be exposed to all the time.

In conjunction to bitching, I laughed about it. 
This helped a lot. The source of humour was on occasion, perhaps a bit mean but it helped to laugh about it and make a joke of it.

I spoke to other members of my team about it. 
I think this was healthy and helpful because it let my team members know about our clash and gave me a productive avenue in which to vent and work through my difficulties with my therapist.

Thankfully for me, she’s leaving just as this clash came to a head, so I don’t know what the process to changing a therapist in the NHS would have been as I didn’t have to travel that road. In this case I was lucky. However, I think overall how I coped with this scenario since a difficult and painful conversation with said therapist on Wednesday was quite good so I have few regrets over how I managed this situation. I could have done some things better, but no pain or damage has been caused by my coping skills therefore this is an improvement on the past.



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