Not so long ago, I gave up running. Standing at a BMI of 25 I thought I was too fat to run. Too fat to show my ass in public, jiggling to my own beat: too fat to get my arse around a 5km loop and too fat to exercise on anything except swimming or the cross trainer because lets face it, I want to save my knee joints.
So I didn’t go. For weeks and weeks and weeks I let this anxiety get the better of me. I waited for my gym to open vowing got lose 30lb on the cross trainer before getting back into running…uhhhmmm no. It didn’t happen. The gym opened, hurrah – I even posted about it. I was super excited, finally now I could exercise my fat arse into a skinny arse.
The gym opened, an d off I went like an excited door mouse, ready to star training and bam – 3 or 4 days into my cross training routine I’d been clinging onto with dear hope I was bored.out.of.my.mind! I couldn’t do it anymore. I instead vowed to go to classes but it’s impossible to get into the good ones unless you sign up at 5am the week before. Which is too much far ahead planning for me.
Then the day of Spartan race came. I had started running again but only 3km at a time. I figured that was OK; I could manage that. I had signed up and paid for Spartan and as much as I wanted to back out, I had agreed to meed a fellow Mudd Queen in the pen so that was motivation enough to go and kick ass at a Spartan Race, which I did. I managed, and you know what else I learnt as I saw bodies of all shapes and sizes, I am not too fat to run.
I realised as I was running, there were bodies of all different forms, some ripped and macho, some just your average woman you wouldn’t bat an eye lid at in Tesco being hardcore out on the field of Spartan and some who this OCR racing was a part of their fitness and weight loss journey – and it got me thinking, why can’t OCR be a part of my journey, not just the end result? Additionally, why can’t running, something I quite enjoy be a part of my journey – especially as I ran fine at Spartan.
And so it was, whilst I was running around a 5k loop I know of that I’m not too fat to run. My attitude about myself might have been too fat to run but I certainly wasn’t too fat to run and so I realised, no one is too fat to run. Running is for all shapes and sizes, all abilities as we are not competing against each other but only against ourselves to be better than we once were – and maybe, just maybe I’m near the start of a long journey with running.