Yesterday I reported that my low mood was starting to become lower than healthy and unavoidable. I realised though, when filling out the results for the day in my Optimism app that I’d been rather pro-active in helping my mood. I’d done a lot “stay well strategies” such as: mediation/relaxation, exercise, healthy food choices, medication taken, social support used, and taken part in enjoyable activities alone and with others. The result was that for the day my mood point went back up to a 4 for the day overall rather than sitting at 3. I hope I manage to keep on top of it.
That’s the thing though, we don’t have a choice in having a mental illness, but we do have a choice in how we approach our illness. We could put our hands up and say, “I have two diagnosis’ including bipolar and that’s that. I’m doomed for illness for the rest of my days” or I could say, “I have two diagnosis’ including bipolar but I can do what I can to fight this and live as normal and peaceful a life as possible”.
I’d rather say the latter phrase, even though it is much more hard work to manage. Yesterday for example was effort, and every time I’m very depressed life is an insurmountable effort to manage my symptoms as best I can- but that’s all I can do and expect of myself – as long as I know I’m trying then I’m happy with however abled or disabled I may be at the time if I know I couldn’t be doing any better. I know I can’t blame myself or my actions for whatever state I may be in.
This isn’t to say I’m perfect. Sometimes I do get it wrong. Sometimes I don’t help myself as much as I could do because that is the nature of the illness, but to try my best and know I am is for me a comfort in my own disability in fighting stigma and knowing I’m not bringing it on myself.
So today is another day. I’ve woken up after not much sleep and my mood feels quite low again, but again I will try and manage this by using my stay well strategies including: enjoyable activities, exercising, resting, and meditation/relaxation exercises.