Flashbacks – a poem 

  
I’m trying to feel the wind in my face,And the sores on my feet.

The blowing of my hair,

And the crease in my knees.
But I feel through a vale

A vale of mist

Feelings dismissed

Sensations just kissed

My being and I have no idea
Spaced out 

Far away 

Every day

Living in the past

Flashbacks 

Hogging my mind

Surrounding me

Screaming at me
And present day

Is hard to find 

As sensations of now kiss

And are missed 

In my spaced out state

In which I operate

Like machinery 

The tin soldier from childhood

That I am has lasted 

The ice queen princess I mastered 

As a young girl conquered 

And now it comes to haunt me

The memories gauntly 

Escapades in front of me

Around me

Beside me inside me

Hopelessly I’m fighting
Fighting something I’ve fought before

But didn’t manage and so instead I detach

Dissociate and lose attachment 

To the reality that it’s in the past 

I’m past it so fast like time never stops

But memories have no sense of time

Flashbacks no consensus of life

A life moved on and forward 

Triggered easily by a single argument 

A conversation, an installation of

The traumas from before 
As I try to feel my face 

The sores on my feet

The wind on my hair

And crease in my knees 
As I walk onwards in my life

In circles around traumas 

Walking circles in my mind as time move on forward 

I can’t feel a thing

Not even a kiss of kindness

Just the wrath of madness 

From a world gone by

A life gone before me

An era behind me. 
The sew of our seed

Contributes to the answers we reap 

Acceptance is key

In acknowledging our lives

And the way we keep 

On going through the sludge

Keep treading and kneading

Our way through life

Through struggle and strife 
To move forward away from the past 

As in our minds that’s the last 

Place where we want to spend time

So instead a step at a time 

Moves to a future that i can call mine 

Away from the behind me to what’s in front of me

Absorbed entirely 

In what could become happily

Ever after so silently

In the future so solemnly 

Swearing to not got back to the past

Psychologically. 
As I try to feel the wind in my face,

And the sores on my feet.

The blowing of my hair,

And the crease in my knees. 

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