Songs of My Journey: 2013, All Those Drunken Days of Depression

What a shit year? It started shit, it progressed into bullshit, and ended in the shittiest meagre existence I’ve ever known in my life. In the early months of 2013 I was very depressed. I was drinking a bottle or two of wine on a daily basis- so much so that the man in my shop knew what I wanted each time I paid a visit. I was smoking like a chimney, and I was accompanied by nothing more than YouTube. It was at this time that I discovered Angel Haze. The pain in her lyrics, the wisdom of her words and the fight talk of her rising from the ashes of bullshit to a better place resonated with where I felt I was in my life.

She didn’t hide from anything with her lyrics. She knows suffering. She knows the pain that can become a constant lived suffering,

“if you’re contemplating suicide…”

And it struck me, I knew, this girl gets me. We have different experiences, but ultimately where I’m at right now, she gets this. She’s been here, and she’s written about it so beautifully.

Unfortunately, such a brilliant lyricist became the soundtrack to my perpetual drinking and self harming that occurred at the time- but she became a comfort. I wasn’t alone. I felt alone, but there were other people out there experiencing this, so I wasn’t alone.


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