Being unemployed was difficult for me. I’d always studied, and if I wasn’t studying I’d always worked. I was dismissed from my summer job in 2011, and I had tried to work. I’d found a job, but broke down each time I had to travel until the Dr’s unanimously advised, “don’t work. Not just yet”. I needed something to do. I needed a focus, because for me, life without a focus slowly loses meaning until I reach the point of “why stay alive?”
I could sew. I’d completed two years of a fashion textiles degree. So I began making clothing, and shirts, and a coat for myself. I was going to start an Etsy business, because that way I could work and be my own boss- so being unwell and having a crisis here and there wouldn’t affect my employment. I was living in la-la land, but at the time this served the purpose of providing an illusion of purpose to my life, my living, my breathing, my consuming the earths resources by having the cheek to stay alive in this state. So I would sew, and I would sew, and I would make patterns and practice new sewing skills. Looking back it’s probably a good job no-one bought any of my shirts because they’re more likely equivalent to a size 0 than the size 8-10 I marketed them as.
The the new Yann Tiersen album captured my imagination at this time, and I fell in love. There was something eery and magical about the Skyline album, which matched where I was in my life at the time.