Songs of My Journey: 2011, Struggling On


I finished my second year in 2011. I remember spending evening after evening in the library trying to finish and move on with my studies. It was difficult for me, and I had mastered not eating for days on end resulting in a steep decline in my weight. I would listen to songs on repeat that resonated with my struggles at the time. I was no longer in denial with myself: I knew I was ill and had realised that I was starting to lose control. I had accepted a referral to the Maudsley for relapse prevention, but my relapse had become suffocating – and I no longer wanted ripping from my comfortable starvation, despite being scared at how low my weight had dropped in the Dr’s office.


3 thoughts on “Songs of My Journey: 2011, Struggling On

  1. Good choice of song for troubled times. It’s one of my favourites too – I do exactly the same thing. The comfort of starvation, yes, I know that place well. My heart goes out to you and I wish you strength and courage in your journey back from deprivation. And may music play on for inspiration.


    1. Thanks. I am very far from that place now and a very healthy weight. I guess looking back on it I’m gaining closure on that experience, especially by sharing the music that accompanied that time. So many memories and emotions can be tied up in music that sometimes it’s good to acknowledge and gain closure in order to move further forwards. For me, this album came out at just the right time though. I’m sorry you know that place too- I hope you too have been able or will be able to move on from it. It’s a tough place and a hell hole, but there are positives to be found in recovery that pass many people by who don’t struggle in such a way. (In my mind anyway) stay well 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

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