Symptom: “Bad” Foods
I’m pretty sure everyone who has experienced an eating disorder has at one point had a mental list of “bad foods” which are to be avoided at all costs. When I am well, no such list enters my mind. However, if I am relapsing I will find myself getting nervous about my old “bad food list” foods and try to avoid them.
How I Stay Well:
When I’m well I just try to make health conscious decisions, but when I am unwell these decisions become anxiety fuelled: and that’s not healthy. When I notice that what were considered “bad” foods to me are becoming difficult again, I will purposely expose myself, and push myself to enjoy a treat here, and a treat there. If a coffee shop is out of skimmed milk, instead of freaking out I’ll try to drink some, if not all, of my full fat latte instead. The only way for me to keep these thoughts and feelings at bay is to confront them head on, although, in baby steps. So Instead of a medium or large, I will order a small full fat latte – which is less daunting than a huge mug full of full fat milk.
At other times, if the “bad” food is a cake or ice cream that is making me nervous I will go back to the recovery steps of sharing a portion with someone – that way the guilt of having eaten it all isn’t there, and I still confronted my rising fears.