Relapse Symptom: Feeling anxious and out of control:
This is a more generic warning sign that is unrelated to food, but eventually winds up becoming all about food if left ignored; as soon as I’m feeling out of control of my life, or my self then I need to do something in order to feel as though I am in control and managing. Before recovery this would happen by controlling my food.
How I Stay Well:
Now I have other coping mechanisms to heal my inner control freak, such as documenting my life, writing, charting experiences and making lists and plans for my life, weeks and days. From this I gain the same sense of calm that I do from controlling my food without damaging my body. Call me a control obsessive, but I need to be in the drivers seat, or at least feel like I am. If I don’t catch on to this early enough though, it easily becomes about food very quickly. I try to avoid even going there.
Instead I will make healthy exercise regimes, with the focus being on health and strength instead of trying to count calories and lose weight. For example, this year I have set myself the goal of completing the South London Tough Mudder (my sponsor page is to the right). No way could I be eating disordered and complete this mega challenge. I Need to eat well, drink shakes, and exercise in order to gain as healthy a physique as I can. Dress sizes and calorie restriction doesn’t come into this – and the ultimate goal is to complete a challenge of my fitness as opposed to seeing how low I can push my body without collapsing. It is a similar mentality whilst being entirely different at the same time.
Other Signs and Symptoms: