At christmas in 2006 my Dad discovered that Mum had been having an affair. It all made sense. I’d had suspicions but brushed them off as, “no, she wouldn’t do that” As it turns out, she would, and she did. Many people may consider this to be a low point in my life as a result of the divorce. When people find out, often they coo, “Oh I’m so sorry”. I wasn’t sorry. I was glad. I had been wanting them to get divorced for years.
The most difficult aspect of this life event for me was seeing the shell of a man my Dad became as a result of losing my Mum. Once she was gone he finally showed how much he loved and cared for her – but it was to little too late.
I remember feeling very alone. The only stable relationship during these years of my life was with my therapist. Dad was drinking a lot, and he can’t handle his drink. So I was looking after my drunk Dad on a few occasions around the house. I laughed about it at the time with him the next day – but looking back, it is a low point because the isolation became even more intense.
Dad and I bonded over the divorce because he had no-one else. I liked this at the time. I felt like my Dad was my best friend. However, I realised in sharply that I was just company until someone who could meet his needs better than me came along. It hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt a lot very quickly like a brick shithouse of steel landing on me from outer space.
All Good Things by Nelly Furtado really struck me when I listened to her album – and it stuck as my music memory for that period of time: alongside Linkin Park. My Dad played that a lot during the divorce.