– Letters: Everything I Couldn’t Say –

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A softly spoken individual, and an observer with many opinions, yet someone who doesn’t speak more than she feels necessary. She’s not necessarily the best listener, it’s a weak skill still in the learning process: but she tries. This task is made more difficult when her mind zones out, descending into a fog of detachment, swirled perceptions and feelings of removal.

Although observant to the finer details of her surroundings, and a selectively avid reader of information, her curiosity is selectively soaked up. Selectively only because some areas are too rising of emotion to bear exposure to. This is a lesson learnt from an over sensationalized media that lack moral boundaries beyond sales and public hysteria – or the politicians who are born, live and remain so out of touch with the reality that they rule.

Then there are the times that being softly spoken, observant and thoughtful doesn’t bode well with persuading others to listen. Sometimes people don’t have the time, some people are not good listeners either, whilst others don’t want to burst their bubble of comfortable ignorance.

Sometimes, the people we need to say the most important things to aren’t around anymore. Perhaps that period in your life has passed. Perhaps they were in your life for just a moment, or a day. Perhaps we didn’t even interact at all.

So a series of letters is about saying what I need to those people, be it positive or negative. They may never read it. In fact, this outcome is the most likely – but for me, the act of writing it is enough. They may read it one day. If it is written then that possibility may become a reality. You see, the joy of being unheard or choked by the silence of shyness is that often, am I not only unable to say, “Thank You.” but I’m also unable to say, “Fuck You” when I really need to.

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